MARIN

Are you crying?

(joining her)

I didn't know you did that.

ERICA

Yeah, it's my new thing. I’ve gotten abnormally great at it.

MARIN

(sitting on the step with her)

Is it Harry?

ERICA

Seems I gotta learn how to do that love 'em and leave 'em stuff.

MARIN

Fucking men. You don't care when I say fuck, do you?

ERICA

Not really. Sometimes. Not right now.

MARIN

So now you get my theory about love? You gotta self protect. It’s too dangerous.

ERICA

Marin, that theory... how can I put this so your feelings won't get hurt. It's just so crazy, it makes me want to SCREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

MARIN

And how would you put it if you wanted to hurt my feelings?

ERICA

Listen to me... you cannot hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out and maybe you'll become unglued. That's not a way to live.

MARIN

So you're telling me you're happy right now? This is good what happened to you?

ERICA

No. This was bad. But for the three days it was good, it was electrifying.

(Marin's eyes fill up.)

ERICA

I think you must consider the possibility that we are more alike than you realize. I let someone in and I had the time of my life.

MARIN

(tearful)

I've never had the time of my life.

ERICA

I know. And bubbee, I say this from the deepest part of my heart, …what the fuck are you waiting for?

 

 

After my roommate’s leaving, I saw the VCD movie, “Somethings Gotta Give” in that Sunday afternoon. I wonder, what we gotta give in a relationship, no matter in love or friendship. It’s weird. I feel so stupefied, confused, perplexed and helpless when I look the double room without him.

 

I don’t know where my sorrow and loneliness come from. We know each other no more than two months, and are getting reactive in the last few weeks. But, you know what, he is a really nice person, a perfect hybrid of German and Italian. I would even like to say, he is “a man to love.”

 

I believe when we are in loves or friendships, we give one part of our heart away. You can’t just take it back from whom you break with or farewell. It’s just there. The heart of us has lacked the part you gave out. It looks silly, but it is true. Well, at least to me. For me, the mathematic number is “minus”, and it could never be “plus.” I was in the same situation when my best friend got married. I was so shocked I freezed when I heard he said “my wife” or even “we.” But the point is not I lost friends or I feel alone or something. The point is I thought I have overcome my fear of loneliness and absolutely can handle this kind of situation. But I failed, and it is just about a relationship with a roommate. Well, maybe it is more than “just a roommate”, a good person to live with. This is why I feel so upset, just like Erica in the film.

 

Does that mean no one can handle this? We can’t avoid seeking our “Aristophanes’ half” to save us circling? Cannot we hide from love for the rest of our life because maybe it won't work out and maybe we'll become unglued? Is that not a way to live? I really eager to know how the feeling of “electrifying” would be, and to have the time in life to let some in. So, what the fuck am I waiting for? I…just...don’t…know. Maybe THIS is my problem…

 

 

 


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  • Ahduo
  • Time is limited but affection is not. We may be spending less <br />
    time with our good friends but friendship still grows in <br />
    different forms as time goes by.
  • shaoqing
  • what the fucking are you waiting for, my dear Maurice?!
  • Ahduo
  • 樓上那位老兄家裡沒有牙刷牙膏是嗎?
  • narzissmus
  • 掌櫃的,別生氣啦,她只不過引述了電影原著對白,一點戲謔。<br />
    <br />
  • shaoqing
  • haha~
  • Ahduo
  • haha<br />
    抱歉, 是我孤陋